Stress is a crafty emotion

With two exams in the next week my life has become a bit of a blur.
I’m either at work.. or sat with my nose buried in a book, staring hopelessly at the ceiling… or heading, blurry eyed, to the kitchen for another cup of tea.
But despite all my pages of notes and colour-coded post-it notes I only know one thing for sure – stress is a crafty emotion.
It just appears, unannounced and unwelcome.
But always at exactly the wrong moment.
Or worse still – the right moment, but you haven’t realised it.
Then it chimes up to remind you of what you’ve been trying to forget.
And causes the old grey matter to short circuit. Bypassing the possibility of letting you do something useful and just going straight to thinking about being stressed again and again.
For me, the most frustrating is I know stress is stupid.
It doesn’t help – in fact it often makes things worse. It would be ok if it came along to give you a push in the right direction, and then left you alone while you got on with it.
But no.
That’s just not how stress works.
I suppose with exams it makes sense.
You have one chance to sit in a room and prove to a piece of paper that you know what you are talking about. Or rather can regurgitate what you have been told to in order to get the right grade. I can almost forgive stress for rearing it’s head for such an occasion.
But why turn up when I am running late in the morning and it seems all the tights in the world have got ladders?
Making me flustered meaning, that, instead of taking a moment to breathe, or put on a pair of trousers… I run around, raiding the drawers of loved ones and bundling everything out of the ironing basket.
But why? I know it doesn’t matter.
By the time I have got to work I have forgotten about my wardrobe woes. And by Wednesday evening (not that I am counting)  – hopefully – I will be wondering what all the fuss was about with my exams.


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