I don’t have that perfect bedtime-story-voice or silver hair.
However last week I did have a frozen planet adventure as I travelled to northern Finland for the week with my family. Granted when I first put on my skis, making it a few metres before falling on my backside, I did have more in common with Bridget Jones than I did with Attenborough but that is beside the point.
With temperatures ranging from -5oc to -30oc it was less of a holiday and more of an endurance test. But thankfully it was beautiful. The snow was waist height in most places and the light skipped across the surface like an excited child.
We spent the days cross country skiing, or trying to, on the frozen lake. While at night we would stand on it, eyes glued to the skies, in hope of seeing the elusive Northern Lights. For about 15 hours of waiting we got a 15 minute show of them at their best.
The rest of the time they were there it was like someone had the dimmer switch turned down too low when it needed the full 60 watts.
But it was definitely worth losing the feeling in your toes and nose for.
It was so cold my breath froze causing a chandelier of icicles to form on my hat and unpleasant things to happen up my nose – making me feel like one of those fancy fridges which have ice-cube dispensers.
Because of this getting dressed was one of the biggest challenges. In the end it took seven socks, four pairs of trousers, three long sleeved t-shirts, two jumpers, two pairs of gloves, one set of thermal underwear, a balaclava, hat and scarf to keep out the cold.
Our skidoo ride was probably my highlight, especially on the return journey when it was my turn in charge of the throttle. Whizzing through the winter wonderland was something I won’t forget in a hurry. Along with the visit to a hotel made of snow and the reindeer ride – which, unfortunately for our antlered friends was followed by the rest of my family eating Rudolph’s relatives on a pizza.